Well this is the last blog post for this class. This past week we have talked about crises in families. Our teacher told us some of his crises growing up and it made me really sad. The point of his sad stories was to show the differences between how people think about each situation. There is something called the ABC/X theory. that is the Actual event- what actually happened, Behavioral responses- how each person reacted to that event, and Cognition- how each person thought in the situation and about the situation after it happened. the X stands for individual eXperiences. The individual experience depends on how they do the first three. I found it interesting that two people could be going through the same actual event but have totally different experiences. It is really all about your attitude and how you think about it. I have learned so much this semester! I have come to realize that relationships in the family, extended and immediate, are very influential to the actual individual. I never realized just how much is going on between each individual in the family. I never thought that the relationships between my mother would effect the relationship between my husband and myself. There are many other relationships but that is the overlaying thing that i have learned this semester!

Challenges in Married life

This next week we are talking about the married life, which is perfect because I am engaged! So we were told to make a list of challenges we foresee im the first month and year.

First month challenges: integrating differences in personalities, communication, finances, misconceptions that your spouse must fulfill all your needs, pet peeves, common beliefs (woman does all the work vs. men help do housework),expectations, keeping their relationship problems private, who will be the bread winner, relationships with in-laws, sexual expectations.

First year challenges: disagreements on where to live or how many children to have or when to have them,dealing with the changing person (being stuck on who they were when they were married), child care responsibilities, activity between spouses,leisure time together, commitment to relationship.

What is Love?

Today we talked about the different types of love. In Greek there are four words for love: Agape, Eros, Storge, Phillia.

Agape is the type of love that goes beyond feelings. It is kind of like Godly love. Somebody can do something to disappoint or hurt you, but you will still love them the same or even more than you did before. This is the kind of love that bounces back from pain and suffering, better yet it stands firm in tribulations.

Eros is the love that is emotional and passionate. It is often associated with romance and sexual intimacy. This love is what most people focus on because the media puts a huge emphasis on it. This love feels good, and this love also wont last without having any of the other types of love. That is why relationships that are purely physical based in the beginning usually don't work out in the long run. They wont last because physical love and romance tend to decrease as the couple gets older.

Storge is the love between a parent and a child. This love is hard to explain but the way I see it is kind of related to Agape. A parent would do anything for their child and nothing can stop that love. Someone in class explained it like this, "The love between a parent and a child in instant, you instantly love your child. The love between my husband and I was earned, it took a while for me to love him."

Phillia is brotherly love. The love between you and a friend. There is not much to say about this love. You have either had it or you haven't.

Gender!

This past week we have been talking about gender. The question was raised, "should we raise our boys more like girls?" i think we should raise our children individually. I don't think boys should be treated like girls or the other way around. we shouldn't be so hard on the boys but we shouldn't treat them like girls. We came to earth each having a divine nature and destiny according to the Proclamation to the World.

Another thing that was an interesting thought was, "what do you think would be different if you were born into this world as the opposite gender as you? what would be different?" My reply to that was, if I were a boy instead of a girl i think growing up would have been much different. My sister and I would have gotten along better because she hated how girly I was. I would have been treated less "kind" or "spoiled."I probably would have been more aggressive and that would have caused harsh relationships between my parents and myself. I would be very irrational.

We compared the natural tendencies of men and women - women are more nurturing, cooperative, detail oriented, express emotions, and more open. men are more aggressive/protective, competitive, spatial, action based, analytical, task oriented, and reserved. we talked about how the differences between men and women complete each other and how when you combine these attributes you get something so much better than the original. Two is better than one, when you get a woman with her qualities and a man with his qualities and put them together in harmony, they both are able to accomplish more than if they were separate!

Social Class

This week in class we talked about social class and how that affects the family system. We watched a couple videos on YouTube that brought to me very strong feelings. I cant believe how shallow some people are... to me everyone no matter how much money they have are sons and daughters of God and deserve to be treated like that. This is a link to one of the videos that brought strong feelings to me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8VXrHeLqBA&feature=related As you watch this video try to think of what you would do in this situation. I tried to think of what I would do as the mother. I feel like she is doing all that she knows how to do. I honestly don't know what I would do in her situation. I would be tempted to get a second job, but then I wouldn't have time to spend with my children. The older son seems like he is trying to get his family to change, which I don't agree with because you should love your family for who they are.

In class we discussed that it doesn't really matter what social class you are, every class has its struggles and as long as the members in the family are strong and have good relationships with each other then the family wont be as negatively affected.

Affect of children in the USA

This week in class we talked about the influence of families on pretty much the world. Our teacher asked us to think about who is affected by not having children and how they are affected. As i was sitting there trying to think of something I could only think about the spirit children waiting to come to earth. if everyone chose not to have children those poor spirit children would not get their chance to come to earth as soon as they could. Think of something you really want or look forward to, now imagine having to wait for centuries at a time for that. i just feel so bad for those spirits.

we also talked about the affect it would have on the economy. We talked about the supply and demand part of the economy. The more children there are in the world, the more need there is for supply, which leads to more demand. For example, when parents have children there is more need for bottles and clothing, the need for these things creates more supply of them. So you can see that having children would be beneficial for the economy.
Many people think that having children is over populating the earth, but in class we learned that if you sent everyone in the USA to Texas with one acre of land, we could all fit inside of the state of Texas. So overpopulation is not a valid concern. 

Research in Family Relations

So i made this blog for my Family Relations class here at Brigham Young University- Idaho! This past week we have been talking about research/studies specifically related to families. Some of the things we talked about within research are making sure you have a credible source. A credible source would include the author having a degree, an article that has been peer reviewed, and/or any website that has a .edu or .gov site. Also along with websites; they should have a contact link, this insures that the authors are willing to give you information regarding their research. It is important that whatever source you find has a citation page.